The Matthew Byers Method

      “You win the victory when you yield to friends.”   -         Sophocles         Have you ever had a friend who has to get the last word in no matter what? This otherwise great person also professes to be an expert on just about any subject matter you discuss with them, whether they actually are or not! The problem with having such an attitude towards learning is that you never truly become a student of anything if you believe that you are already an expert at it! The concept of associating with people who are smarter than you is at the very core of this method. When you allow yourself to yield to your friends’ wisdom, knowledge and experience, such relationships begin to enrich you personally and create positive change in your life.     While annoying friends are one thing, having an obnoxious family member, co-worker or co-parent with whom you raise your child is another animal altogether! Though there are people with whom you currently associate that you

    “The last thing family and friends want is for you to spend money on them that you don’t have or that you can’t really spare.”   -         Suze Orman         True friends and loving family members will ultimately want what’s best for you. While everyone has a few people in their lives that are considered “takers,” most of those with whom you share affection, friendship and love will generally demonstrate generosity and genuine concern for your well being. You should not have to “break the bank” in order for your friends and family to be involved in your life. Be wary of those who are only around whenever there’s a party, special event or during times when you are open to spending money freely.   Do not be misled; there are definitely people who are only out for themselves. Such takers can be identified when they use you repeatedly for whatever you can do for them, while never returning the favor. Use discretion in your relationships whenever you notice that you

    “As we are, so we associate. The good, by affinity, seek the good. Thus of their own volition, souls proceed into Heaven, into Hell.”   -         Ralph Waldo Emerson   Be sure to always use wisdom in your decision making process regarding your choice of associations. The people you allow into your life have a great deal more influence than you might believe. From whom you frequently relate to within social interactions, your significant other, friends, business networking acquaintances and relatives can cause significant changes within your life that you might not immediately realize. These same people affect your decisions, lifestyle choices and even your personality! Even your parents likely told you not to spend too much time with a friend or two throughout your childhood because they considered them to be a “bad influence.” Similarly, as adults we must be equally diligent to ensure that those who have the most access to us are positive influences on our lives.  

        “The most important form of selfishness involves spending time on your fitness, eating right, pursuing your career, and still spending quality time with your family and friends.”   -         Scott Adams       While many serious topics of debate encircle a discussion on those with whom you associate, one of the pleasures of any relationship is sharing a good meal with interesting people. There’s nothing quite like spirited banter over food and drink that add a sense of civilized decorum to any gathering. However, the most difficult challenge in these circumstances is to prevent oneself from regular overindulgence, insisting that every meal with friends is a “special occasion.” While you definitely should realize the value and importance of enjoying regular fellowship with people in your life, when the meal ends, you still have to live in the body that you just filled with excess delicacies. Practicing moderation and coming prepared with a plan is crucial to m

      “Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones.”   -         John Lennon       Any relationships worth having must be built on trust. Regardless of who you are associating with, people need to know that they can count on those with whom they interact to do the right thing. Whether these people are family, friends, acquaintances or co-workers, if you are not acting with honesty and integrity, then you will soon find that you will have fewer people who are willing to be associated with you. Besides protecting your reputation, the dynamic of social interaction does not work well if you cannot be honest and genuine with others.     Imagine being part of a sports team in which communication could not be trusted. In football, if a quarterback continually called plays in the huddle, didn’t audible to a different play at the line of scrimmage and simply threw the ball into the stands every single play, then his team would sure

        “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”   -         Dale Carnegie       How you spend your time directly impacts the quality and quantity of your associations in life. Many people who claim a low number of friendships and acquaintances seem to spend a great deal of time trying to convince people to like them. These people are very creative and descriptive in how their lives are somehow more interesting than the life of their contemporaries. Ironically, it’s actually the opposite action that has far more success. Showing interest in the lives of others is one of the best and most efficient ways of increasing your number of positive social interactions.     Unfortunately, we live in a society cut off from interpersonal interactions. Social media, Zoom calls and virtual events have taken the place of personal communication and social relatio