“You can make more friends in
two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by
trying to get other people interested in you.”
-
Dale Carnegie
How you spend your time
directly impacts the quality and quantity of your associations in life. Many
people who claim a low number of friendships and acquaintances seem to spend a
great deal of time trying to convince people to like them. These people are
very creative and descriptive in how their lives are somehow more interesting
than the life of their contemporaries. Ironically, it’s actually the opposite
action that has far more success. Showing interest in the lives of others is
one of the best and most efficient ways of increasing your number of positive
social interactions.
Unfortunately, we live in a
society cut off from interpersonal interactions. Social media, Zoom calls and
virtual events have taken the place of personal communication and social relations
in many aspects of modern life. Social skills are not needed as much in this
digital age as compared to previous generations. While society has been
affected greatly across the board, younger generations are often impacted more
by this technological disconnect. These factors have a huge impact on the
quality of social discourse among those who are trying to expand their circle
of friends, increase their social interaction or expand their business
networking community. These same factors also lead people to become very
focused on self. Someone who becomes more and more self-absorbed has less
empathy for others and begins to internalize the words and actions of others in
a much more personal way than was ever intended. These factors cause
misunderstandings and divisions between friends, acquaintances and even
complete strangers!
Making time for those in your
social circle is vital to your success or failure in society. While some people
have found a measure of success in relative isolation, many of those who live
as a recluse or shut-in pay a high price for living in this manner. Having a
strong social network of positive associations affects one’s physical health,
mental health and brings about opportunities to participate in positive
contributions in one’s local community. Being disconnected from friends,
acquaintances and society as a whole leads to depression, suicidal tendencies
and other mental health disorders. In the elderly, a lack of social interaction
can even accelerate cases of dementia, Alzheimer’s and initiate a mental decline
far earlier in their life than expected. Such rapid mental decline in the
elderly leads to a loss of independence that could have otherwise been
prevented by ensuring that interactions with a group of friends and
acquaintances remain a top priority.
Be intentional
“An unintentional life
accepts everything and does nothing. An intentional life embraces only the
things that will add to the mission of significance.”
-
John C. Maxwell
What is your mission in life?
Have you ever pondered what it is that gives your life meaning? Whether it is
making the best life for your family, self-discovery through achieving a sense
of spiritual enlightenment or furthering a cause that you are passionate about,
it is vital to have a sense of direction and purpose. Once you define your
purpose, then you are able to view every decision that you make through the
lens of either getting you closer to that mission, delaying the mission or
abandoning your mission altogether. Knowing and discovering your purpose and
having a general concept of the “mission statement” of your life brings a
clarity that begins to bring every moment of your existence into alignment with
the goals and values of your truest self.
Every major corporation has
some variation of a mission statement. Such a statement is usually somewhere
between one to three sentences that every employee either has to memorize or
can be quickly referenced regarding the purpose of what that particular company
intends to provide for their customers. While you may find it helpful to write
out such a mission statement for yourself, at the very least, you must have a
general concept of how you define the mission of your life’s journey. Once you
know where you are going, then you are able to be intentional in who you decide to bring along to help you achieve your purpose. You only have a limited time
on this earth to achieve whatever mission is set before your path. The people
who you choose to do life with will either help you increase time spent to
achieve your mission or distract you from your mission and cause you delays. In
order to maximize your time in relation to your life’s mission, you must be
intentional in regard to choosing with whom you will associate.
Be consistent
“Trust is built with
consistency.”
-
It is not enough to simply be
intentional with whom you choose to spend your time. You must consistently
follow your own personal mission statement in regard to whom you choose to
remain associated. To a large extent, you are the sum of the five people with
whom you spend the most amount of time. Once you begin to gain traction by
associating with those individuals who can help you complete your mission, you
must remain diligent and not turn back from your progress. Too many people in
our lives can be defined as “time suckers.” While some of them spend their
lives seeking diversions from anything meaningful, others may simply be on a
different journey than the one in which you have embarked. While their values
are not necessarily meaningless, their mission in life may be mutually
exclusive from the mission to which you have dedicated as your life’s purpose. Through
this method, we endeavor to pursue a purpose driven life. When choosing the
associations to whom you will devote the greatest amount of your time, remember
to always be consistent with spending the most time with those who will help
further your mission and purpose.
Learn to say “NO”
“When you say yes to others,
make sure you are not saying no to yourself.”
-
Paulo Coelho
Time slowly kills us all. You
simply cannot be everything to everyone. Make sure that your decisions
regarding how you spend your time reflect the ideals in your life that you
value most. It is so easy to get caught up in doing favor after favor for
others thinking that somehow our relationships are similar to bank accounts. We
deposit time and effort over and over in hopes that there will someday be a
return on our investment. We may like to think that others will do for us as we
do for them. However, as we recognize that human beings are not altruistic in
nature, it is highly unlikely that each person will reciprocate exactly in the
same effort and manner as we have given them. To be clear, I’m not saying that
you should avoid doing favors for anyone at all. Instead, use your own values
and life’s mission statement as a lens when deciding whether or not you should
be investing a significant amount of time in a particular person. Reflect on
your mission to determine if this time spent is going to bring you closer to or
further away from your intended goals.
Comments
Post a Comment