The Matthew Byers Method

  “Together with a culture of work, there must be a culture of leisure as gratification. To put it another way: people who work must take the time to relax, to be with their families, to enjoy themselves, read, listen to music, play a sport.”     -         Pope Francis         We have all heard the saying” work hard, play hard,” but what does it really mean? The true nature of relaxation can only be fully appreciated by one who knows the meaning of hard work. For example, if all you do is work, then you will soon burn out and become ineffective and work less efficiently than you once did. Conversely, those who do not work, like the recently retired person, truly do not want to relax every single day of the week. Often times, you will find that retired individuals actually tell you that they are far busier in their life after work than they ever were during their careers. Not only do people need people, but people who work need to relax and enjoy the company of others wh

    “My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.”   -         Henry Ford     Exercise is necessary and beneficial for a healthy body. So too, associating with others is equally necessary and beneficial for a healthy mind. Working out with others provides advantages that exceed those benefits of simply working out alone. From increased endorphin levels, accountability, making new friends through fitness, the structure enjoyed from a group fitness class and many other benefits, exercising with a group of like minded individuals definitely has unique advantages not easily achieved otherwise. Time spent working on your physical fitness and your friendships are both valuable and essential to living your best life. While there are many different types of exercise in which you can enjoy the company of others, the three that I have found most beneficial are group exercise classes, running and athletic events and organized team sports.           Group Ex

      “You win the victory when you yield to friends.”   -         Sophocles         Have you ever had a friend who has to get the last word in no matter what? This otherwise great person also professes to be an expert on just about any subject matter you discuss with them, whether they actually are or not! The problem with having such an attitude towards learning is that you never truly become a student of anything if you believe that you are already an expert at it! The concept of associating with people who are smarter than you is at the very core of this method. When you allow yourself to yield to your friends’ wisdom, knowledge and experience, such relationships begin to enrich you personally and create positive change in your life.     While annoying friends are one thing, having an obnoxious family member, co-worker or co-parent with whom you raise your child is another animal altogether! Though there are people with whom you currently associate that you

    “The last thing family and friends want is for you to spend money on them that you don’t have or that you can’t really spare.”   -         Suze Orman         True friends and loving family members will ultimately want what’s best for you. While everyone has a few people in their lives that are considered “takers,” most of those with whom you share affection, friendship and love will generally demonstrate generosity and genuine concern for your well being. You should not have to “break the bank” in order for your friends and family to be involved in your life. Be wary of those who are only around whenever there’s a party, special event or during times when you are open to spending money freely.   Do not be misled; there are definitely people who are only out for themselves. Such takers can be identified when they use you repeatedly for whatever you can do for them, while never returning the favor. Use discretion in your relationships whenever you notice that you

    “As we are, so we associate. The good, by affinity, seek the good. Thus of their own volition, souls proceed into Heaven, into Hell.”   -         Ralph Waldo Emerson   Be sure to always use wisdom in your decision making process regarding your choice of associations. The people you allow into your life have a great deal more influence than you might believe. From whom you frequently relate to within social interactions, your significant other, friends, business networking acquaintances and relatives can cause significant changes within your life that you might not immediately realize. These same people affect your decisions, lifestyle choices and even your personality! Even your parents likely told you not to spend too much time with a friend or two throughout your childhood because they considered them to be a “bad influence.” Similarly, as adults we must be equally diligent to ensure that those who have the most access to us are positive influences on our lives.  

        “The most important form of selfishness involves spending time on your fitness, eating right, pursuing your career, and still spending quality time with your family and friends.”   -         Scott Adams       While many serious topics of debate encircle a discussion on those with whom you associate, one of the pleasures of any relationship is sharing a good meal with interesting people. There’s nothing quite like spirited banter over food and drink that add a sense of civilized decorum to any gathering. However, the most difficult challenge in these circumstances is to prevent oneself from regular overindulgence, insisting that every meal with friends is a “special occasion.” While you definitely should realize the value and importance of enjoying regular fellowship with people in your life, when the meal ends, you still have to live in the body that you just filled with excess delicacies. Practicing moderation and coming prepared with a plan is crucial to m