“All streams flow to the sea
because it is lower than they are. Humility gives it its power.”
-
Lau Tzu
Have you ever witnessed
someone attempting to rescue a drowning victim from the ocean? Occasionally,
the rescuer is the one who ends up drowning. Aquatic professionals are trained
to either extend a solid object, like an oar, to the drowning person or throw
the person an object that floats or is buoyant in some way. Only as a last
resort is the rescuer to go into the water to save a conscious victim. The
reason being, it is the natural response of someone drowning to latch onto
anything within their grasp to push themselves up to the surface for another
breath of air. Due to this struggle for survival, adrenaline and external
forces like riptides, the victim survives and it is occasionally the rescuer who
drowns.
There are times in our lives
where the circumstances we are going through feel as though we must rescue our
livelihood from disaster. We find ourselves fighting against the riptides of inevitability
and fate. Then, someone comes along to help us in our struggle, such as a
family member, friend or significant other. Unfortunately, there are times when
these bystanders can get caught within our grasp and end up taking on a
challenge that they did not initially anticipate. They were originally only
trying to give a helping hand, only to discover that now they must fight hard
to keep their own head above water.
This scenario can be avoided
by practicing the concept of yielding to your circumstances. On first glance,
this simply sounds like I am telling you to give up on finding a solution to a
known problem or to give in to a failure. However, the reality is far from
rolling over and playing dead for life’s challenges. The goal is definitely not
to allow people, problems or unfortunate events to run roughshod over you
situation. The simplest and most direct explanation I can give is contained
within a famous quote commonly referred to as the serenity prayer:
“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and
wisdom to know the difference.”
-
Reinhold Niebuhr
In this common quote, we see
three things that the person reciting this prayer is requesting from God:
- Serenity
to accept things outside of my control
- Courage
to change things within my control
- Wisdom
to know the difference between what I can and what I cannot control
This is something most often
used by people fighting addictions to alcohol and drugs. This “serenity prayer”
is even recited at the end of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous
meetings. Basically, to be able to overcome many difficult situations in life,
one must relinquish control of circumstances from external forces, challenge
circumstances that can be controlled by internal forces and be wise enough to
distinguish between the two. Much like fighting an addiction, often times, it
seems impossible to overcome the difficult circumstances that we must face day
to day. In general, people are proud, independent and do not want other people
or outward circumstances to control their lives. Unfortunately, this manner of
thinking is also what gets us into the same frame of mind as the drowning
victim. We feel like we can only be happy if we are able to save ourselves. To
rely on another person to do for us what we wish to do for ourselves is scary
and can make us feel vulnerable and out of control. However, I attest to you that
the moment when you relinquish control over external circumstances in which you
are unable to influence by your own efforts is the exact moment that you gain
the advantage. In this section, I will be discussing the following strategies
for yielding to your circumstances: yielding to your past, achieving a “flow
state” in the present and visualizing your future state.
Yielding to your past
“You build on failure. You
use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget
the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your
energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.”
-
Johnny Cash
Every single one of us has
been molded by our past. We all have wonderful memories that we treasure and
mistakes or unfortunate events that we would rather soon forget or undo if we
could. Realizing that the past cannot be changed, it is appropriate to ascribe
to the concept that we should yield to those events and place them in the
proper context of our experiences. Though negative memories are unpleasant,
sometimes they are the very moments in time which define us and shape the lives
that we have come to know as our present reality, for better or worse! Good
memories provide us with the knowledge and experiences that we would like to
repeat and negative memories give us a roadmap of pitfalls to avoid in our future
endeavors. Use those mistakes and bad experiences to your advantage by allowing
those lessons to give you wisdom for the future.
Unfortunately, there are
negative events in our past that do not provide the type of educational or
experiential knowledge to edify our present or future selves. When someone
experiences a major trauma, such as a physical assault, PTSD or another related
tragedy, often times seeking a professional psychiatrist is necessary. There
are times when relying solely on your own abilities to permanently overcome
such a mental barrier to move out of a past event, like a major trauma, would
be irresponsible at best. In such circumstances, it’s best to rely on a
professional to guide you into a cathartic realization that will free you from
fear, pain and undue guilt for events outside of your control.
“Wherever you are, be there
totally.”
-
Eckhart Tolle
Reaching a flow state is
usually attributed to a state of mind, because mostly it is! However, I believe
that few are consistently successful in reaching this state because they think
too narrowly. Entering into, achieving and maintaining a “flow state” can be a
very sensual experience. Invariably, I find that the people who are the most
proficient in reaching this condition of being are such because they are
intentional about achieving it with all five senses. Each of us is a complete
being. As such, reaching such an epicurean sensation requires us to engage all
five senses simultaneously and fully immerse ourselves in the moment. The
following section will discuss how to achieve flow by engaging all your senses:
visual, auditory, olfactory, tactile, and even the sensation of your taste buds
can be utilized to constrict your focus from the general to the specific.
Coffee: highly caffeinated and effective
Matcha: slightly less caffeinated but released over a much longer
duration that gives this beverage a level of endurance that coffee lacks
Dark
chocolate: caffeine,
sugar and magnesium makes this sweet favorite a triple threat
Almonds
and walnuts: loaded
with healthy fats, vitamins and protein, these nutritious treats will keep you
satisfied and focused
By being mindful of all the
sensory factors interpreted by your body at any given moment, you can use the
senses you already possess to redirect your focus away from distractions. The
key is to be fully present and mindful of the task and the moment. Once you
have achieved flow, be sure to stay in the moment. Allow this mental state to
empower you to accomplish far more than you ever could living a life full of distractions
and multitasking!
Visualizing your future state
“Visualize this thing that
you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and
begin to build.”
-
Robert Collier
What is it that you hope to
achieve in the future? We can see how important compartmentalizing your past
and using your former mistakes as stepping stones to a brighter future helps
de-clutter our past baggage. Just as clearly, finding a mindful “flow state” in
the present keeps us grounded in the moment, neither anxious about the future
nor obsessive about unpleasant experiences in days gone by. So, how does
visualizing the future have anything to do with minimalism?
Remember, minimalism is about removing anything in our lives that takes away from those things that bring us the most joy. I cannot imagine a bigger distraction from a joyful life than a person whose existence is bereft of meaning, purpose and direction. Few things will allow your life to come into focus more quickly than to discover your passion. By taking steps to identifying your dream, visualizing the type of life you want to create and having an actual plan to pursue that dream complete with specific details and deadlines is a necessity for living your best life! Let’s take a closer look at each step of the visualization process:
Identifying your dream
Have you ever meditated on
those things for which you have a special talent? Perhaps you are great at working
with your hands and enjoy building things. In your spare time, do you work on
fixing up cars or remodeling your house? You may even have an artistic
expression that needs only a little time and effort to begin honing your craft.
Whatever your passion, perhaps now is the point of your life to pursue a change.
Identify what gives you passion and energy in life. You may be afraid that
pursuing your dreams may interfere with providing a high income. You may be
afraid of failure. There will even be people in your life that will try and
convince you that taking a risk to achieve your dream is selfish on your part. The
truth is, you may deny your dreams and take what others would consider a safer
route only to end up failing anyways! There are no guarantees in life. Since
there is a possibility of failure either way, wouldn’t you rather be in the
camp of people who prefer to try? The saddest thing in the world would be if
you ended up as one of those poor people who lie on their death bed wishing
that they had lived differently and chased after their dreams. This is the only
shot you get at doing life. One of the few certainties in life is that you will
never achieve your dreams unless you pursue them. If you do not ask, then the
answer will always be no.
Visualizing your dream
Spending time meditating on
what your life could look like in the future is an important component towards
making your passion a reality. Once you have defined what your dream is, being
able to see this in your mind’s eye will allow you visualize your concept of
which direction you would like your life to go. For instance, do you want to
start your own business? Are you currently a freelance photographer who desires
name recognition, business cards and your own brick and mortar studio? Would
you like to work remotely as a travel blogger living out of an RV and touring
the country? You must be able to see it inside before it will ever become your
reality on the outside. Whatever you do, dream big!
Design a specific plan
Many people have dreams. The
difference between a dream and a goal is a deadline. This step is crucial in
determining the success or failure of seeing your dream come to fruition. Write
in a notebook specific details of exactly what you want. Do your research in
the library and online to determine exactly how one becomes what it is that you
want to be. Create a roadmap of sorts with multiple ways of achieving the same
goal. By doing so, you will increase your odds of success and avoid putting all
of your eggs in one basket. Whether it is expanding your education, gaining practical
experience on a side job or simply volunteering your time with a company or
individual to get real world experience, you must take real, tangible steps
towards your goal in order to see the results that you want to achieve. Make
sure you are specific about creating realistic deadlines for not only larger
goals, but also for the small steps in between. Don’t forget to celebrate each
achievement, no matter how small! You will begin to see the manifestations of
those real life experiences that align with your dream occur more frequently
and then you will begin to gain traction and confidence towards living your
best life. Just remember, if you don’t believe you can do it, then neither will
anyone else! The one who typically needs the most convincing is the person in
the mirror. By making a specific plan and taking concrete steps towards
achieving it, you will have accomplished far more than most people ever will!
Attaining your goals is simply a combination of planning, effort and sheer
willpower. There are people far less talented than you doing the things that
you dream of accomplishing. Never give up!
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