Minimalism and Associations

 

“Friends should be like books, few, but hand-selected.”

 

-        C.J. Langenhoven

 

 

 

First of all, there is nothing wrong with having lots of friends. Minimalism is certainly not about purging belongings and relationships until you end up becoming a hermit in the woods with a shotgun and nine cats! Conversely, this concept is, at its very core, about achieving quality over quantity. Using a Minimalist approach highlights the items, people, and moments that bring the most joy possible to your existence. Let’s take a look at a few of the relationships to who just about everyone can relate:

 

 

Friends and acquaintances

 

There may still be a few wayward souls out there who cannot claim even one friend on earth. However, for the sake of this topic, let’s assume that most everyone reading this has at least a small group of friends and acquaintances that they can claim as their own. While some people may have lived in the same general area the majority of their adult lives, there are plenty of others who have chosen to commit to a long distance move at one time or another in the past. Some people are extroverts, while others keep to themselves. From my personal experiences, most people fall somewhere in between these two extremes. Because of these wide ranging factors and other elements not mentioned here, each person’s list of close friends can vary from less than a dozen to well over a hundred! While considering the topic of Minimalism in the scope of one’s associations, we will focus on the higher end of the spectrum. When pondering who you allow into your inner circle, consider this famous quote:

 

 

 

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

 

-        Jim Rohn

 

 

Admittedly, there is social research to suggest that this statement is either in error or not an all-inclusive list of significant influences on one’s life, including genetics, one’s immediate family and brain chemistry. Even so, I have found that when you closely examine one’s most intimate social connections, friends and acquaintances that there is a parallel between those who surround you and the voice within you. By reducing or eliminating those people from your life who do not further your goals, values and aspirations, suddenly your life begins to come into focus. This does not mean that you simply cut off everyone who cannot do anything for you. However, it simply means that you focus the majority of your energies where they are reciprocated and amplified to become the best version of yourself possible. By reaching your potential, you can help many others along the way in your life’s journey. The truth is, you simply cannot pour from an empty cup!

 

 

 

 

Family, spouses and romantic partners

 

 

 

“Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.”

 

-        Jacques Delille

 

 

 

The greatest impacts on most people’s lives are the influences of those in their own household. Whether the opinions, beliefs and values that mold you are from blood relatives, spouses or domestic partners, often times these bonds cannot be as easily severed as those of friends and acquaintances. As blood is thicker than water, so too are the ties that bind us to family as well as their indelible and often long-lasting affect on our successes or failures in society. As we progress towards adulthood, most of our values and cultural norms are already ingrained into our psyche. The impact of immediate family molds us in ways that will affect our lives for years after those family members have passed, moved away or are no longer in touch.

 

 

So, if someone had a bad family situation growing up, then they are destined to be a failure? Sadly, this is the case in many circumstances, but this stumbled beginning to life does not have to be a final blow to success. There are many people who use their humble and often troubled past as a strong motivator to overcome the hand that they have been dealt. Unfortunately, many more use a troubled childhood, poor family relations or poverty stricken beginnings to play the victim and claim that they didn’t have the privileges that other more successful people enjoyed in their place. Each day, you have a new opportunity to start again and choose a new path. Rather than allowing the past to define you, choose to see your disadvantages of your previous family relationships as stepping stones towards a brighter future. Were you abused or mistreated? You could choose to use that as motivation to help others overcome similar circumstances. Did your relationship with one parent, or lack thereof, wreck your ability to have a normal relationship with your adult romantic partner? Use it as motivation to teach yourself how to be vulnerable and trust again. Will any of this be easy? Absolutely not! Will it be worth it to turn your negative into a positive? That’s where your power lies!

 

 

 

 

Co-workers

 

 

 

“In a lot of workplaces, you work at a lot of jobs and people work more with their colleagues than with their family.”

 

-        Russell Hornsby

 

 

 

 

While similar to family in respects of time spent and necessary relationships, co-workers are a different type of animal altogether! Unless you plan to quit your job or are working remote all of the time, these are the people with which you must interact to get the job done. While each case is different, there are times in which a work environment is made unbearable by toxic co-workers that result in employees feeling compelled to resign their positions and look for work elsewhere. No matter what you decide, no job is worth being harassed, belittled or disrespected on a daily basis in order to make a living. If you are in such a situation, then the prudent course of action would be to begin your job search as soon as possible. Few things will sabotage your life more quickly than remaining in a toxic environment in which you must spend the majority of your waking hours. Simply put, your mental health and emotional well being are far too important to risk on a company who is negligent, apathetic or incapable of providing a safe work environment for their employees. Get out now before the unhealthy atmosphere without becomes apart of you and influences every aspect of your life!